She left without saying goodbye. She left without any warning. They only reason I knew she was gone was because she told ONE friend. I guess she had to tell someone. And the friend sounded an alarm. I had not seen her in a week already before she left and then it was only for an hour. She deprived me of a last day with all three of my daughters together. She stole a memory I needed to have in my life. She stole the photo to look at after her sister leaves. She stole the last get together as a family. There will be no more birthday parties or holidays as a family for God knows how long. She deprived me and herself of a wedding we've talked about for years. She deprived us of being excited and happy at the wonderful news of her first child and left fear of the future in it's place. She is pregnant, jobless, homeless, temporarily sleeping on the couch of the stepmother of a guy who will have trouble getting a job because of his record. They can't come back because he has absconded on bond from an arrest here.
She deprived me of the love of my daughter. The one who was closest to me.
It's been raining every day
since you went away
But it won't wash away the pain.
After all, it's only rain.
I've been crying every day
since you went away
But that doesn't change a thing.
I don't want the phone to ring
I've been praying everyday
since you went away.
But it doesn't ease my mind.
Peace I just can't find.
I've been hoping every day
that this will go away
But it's a useless game.
Things will never be the same.
Alright. I'm done whining. Maybe. But I can't live in the dark forever. I have to find a way to hope. I'm struggling with that. And that's not something I usually struggle with. My faith has never been challenged. It isn't now. But I know faith doesn't mean easy and I'm already Worn.
Listen to me... never give up hope! As you are already aware, things can change on a dime and this situation is no different. Things CAN change and SOMETIMES they can change for the better. Sometimes.
You know, I'm the kind of person that usually rides it out on my own and holds everyone else up. I have already survived a whole lot of bad. But this is the one time I seem to be having trouble getting back up. Every bit of encouragement counts. It truly does. And I appreciate it so much. Thank You
No one tells you that our own children will break our hearts to pieces. Just know that you raised her. You taught her valuable lessons. Maybe she is lost right now trying to find her own way, but she will figure out that she needs her mom to do it right. I just pray that she has some kind of intervention in regards to her boyfriend and her situation. Soon.
oh mom...I have apparently missed so much while I was stuck in *my laptop crashed* world. hang in there. I often think this must have been some of the same feelings that my dad felt when I had to make that *holy crap i'm pregnant* call from fort benning at 20. and I grew up just fine!!! (bwahahahha). hang in there. have hope. and don't quit loving.
You missed a doozy all right. It's not the pregnant part so much, it's the possible consequences in her choice of partner and the fact that she is too far away for us to help quickly if something goes wrong. I love her more than anything that can never change. She ran off without thinking anything through at all. Which isn't unusual for Mid but the situation this time is so serious and she's so unrealistic. But I told him myself, we want this to work out. The last thing we want is for things to go wrong. Don't screw up!
Listen to me... never give up hope! As you are already aware, things can change on a dime and this situation is no different. Things CAN change and SOMETIMES they can change for the better. Sometimes.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I'm the kind of person that usually rides it out on my own and holds everyone else up. I have already survived a whole lot of bad. But this is the one time I seem to be having trouble getting back up. Every bit of encouragement counts. It truly does. And I appreciate it so much.
DeleteThank You
No one tells you that our own children will break our hearts to pieces. Just know that you raised her. You taught her valuable lessons. Maybe she is lost right now trying to find her own way, but she will figure out that she needs her mom to do it right. I just pray that she has some kind of intervention in regards to her boyfriend and her situation. Soon.
ReplyDeleteMe too! I think she thinks she can save him. She's one of those. Let's hope to God it's one of those rare cases where she actually does.
Deleteoh mom...I have apparently missed so much while I was stuck in *my laptop crashed* world. hang in there. I often think this must have been some of the same feelings that my dad felt when I had to make that *holy crap i'm pregnant* call from fort benning at 20. and I grew up just fine!!! (bwahahahha). hang in there. have hope. and don't quit loving.
ReplyDeleteYou missed a doozy all right. It's not the pregnant part so much, it's the possible consequences in her choice of partner and the fact that she is too far away for us to help quickly if something goes wrong. I love her more than anything that can never change. She ran off without thinking anything through at all. Which isn't unusual for Mid but the situation this time is so serious and she's so unrealistic. But I told him myself, we want this to work out. The last thing we want is for things to go wrong. Don't screw up!
ReplyDelete