from the bathroom at school. "Mom.... I'm having a bad day." Then dissolves into sobs at the other end of the phone. Her voice echoes in the high school bathroom stall. I ask what happened. "I think he's going to break up with me. He said he feels like an asshole and we need to talk." The next words are undecipherable within the choking tears.
Shit.
She tells me she doesn't really know what's going on but she thinks that's what it is and continues to cry uncontrollably." I can't go back to class because I can't stop crying." I ask if she has anything important to do today, thinking I will allow her to escape. She says she has to be there. I tell her to have a good cry and not to assume anything until she talks to him.
My instinct is to get up and rush to the school and save my baby. The sound of her tears crushes me. I want to be there to hold her and protect her. I want to bring her home and wrap her in the cocoon of my love and keep her safe. Stand over her like a lioness with my teeth bared at danger that dares to touch her. I feel helpless anger that I can't stop the pain. No! Damn It! The world needs to stop hurting my children. I know I can't prevent the heartbreak. I know I can't fix it.
I hate feeling powerless.
She may be almost grown but she is still my heart.
Please don't break my heart.
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breaks my heart too. and scares me a little about those years. but what i see, as an outsider, is that she called you. she called YOU! you may not be able to stop it from happening, but being asked to help pick up the pieces is huge and i hope i get the privilege of doing it someday myself. i have a wonderful mother and we have a healthy adult relationship, but i would have NEVER, EVER in a thousand million years turned to her with anything like that. in my humble opinion, you must be doing some awesome things right. but hugs to you both...
ReplyDeleteYeah.
ReplyDeleteTell me about it.