So in my 5th year of begging God for a plain old normal year: we got thru the holidays. Don't remember much. When my sister went for her next after lung cancer scan they found all the lymph nodes in her chest were enlarged and inflamed and she has lymphoma again. It's very aggressive. She is still smoking and turned down physical therapy so she is in terrible shape and not strong enough to bear treatment well. They gave her a choice. She chose to give up. 1 to 3 months. She'll be going into palliative care with hospice. Our oldest sister is blind and bedridden and will have to go into a nursing home. I'm going to be left with a financial shit show to deal with because my sister couldn't manage her own affairs so now I have to clean up the mess. I have no idea what I'm doing. I've told her I'm not capable of this right now and she pretty much has been ignoring me and soldiering on with whatever the half assed cockamamie process she thinks is gonna happen with her affairs. She keeps telling me it wont be that complcated.Which as far as I can tell is absolute nonsense. It's waaaay complicated. My husband is ill and has to start biologic infusions and hes terrified of that and needs alot of support andcreassurance. Me? I've been having chest pains for a week. She might outlive me. At the moment that seems easier. I don't really mean that of course. Sorta. I also love my sister. Really. I promise.
It really is hard having six parents. Soon it will be just me, the youngest, and the oldest sibling. How does that even happen. 15 years apart. The middle 3 gone. This shit sucks.
Ms. G.
I'm so sorry about your sisters and husband and all that's on your shoulders. Life can really be unfair sometimes. Prayers.
ReplyDeleteThankyou Niki. You have been so sweet still stopping by. My sister passed this morning. She was a very interesting person. And frustrating: ) Then my husband had his first infusion. He did absolutely finr. Its been a hell of day but it's done.
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